The 4th and final life position is that of the person who has strong complex . He feels that something is wrong with self and everyone else is right. A classic case od lack of self esteem.
I'm Not OK, You're OK
The general attitude in this style is to depreciate onesef. As the person does not have much trust in his or her own ability, he or she may not be assertive. This may be shown in various ways. The following six styles may be found in this position:
Indifferent (Regulating Parent)
A person with this style leaves following the norms to the discretion of others and does not care to see how well the norms are understood. Most of the time, such a person manages to overlook whether the norms are being followed. He or she does not have enough trust in his or her ability to help people develop proper norms and follow them. Such a trainer may take no notice of serious deviations in the session. A manager may ignore the issue of the propriety of his or her subordinates' behaviour.
D for Diffident (or, I'm Not OK, You're OK)
The general attitude in this style is to depreciate onesef. As the person does not have much trust in his or her own ability, he or she may not be assertive. This may be shown in various ways. The following six styles may be found in this position
Indifferent (Regulating Parent
]A person with this style leaves following the norms to the discretion of others and does not care to see how well the norms are understood. Most of the time, such a person manages to overlook whether the norms are being followed. He or she does not have enough trust in his or her ability to help people develop proper norms and follow them. Such a trainer may take no notice of serious deviations in the session. A manager may ignore the issue of the propriety of his or her subordinates' behaviour.
Ingratiating (Nurturing Parent)
In this style, the effort is to try to please or placate others. A manager may do certain things to keep subordinates in good humour, thinking that this will help him or her to get work done by them. A trainer may get too personal, inviting students for social occasions at home and visiting them in their homes. A consultant may go out of his or her way to do more than the client may want.
Overwhelming (Adult)
Such a person is always concerned with the task but remains confused and
feels that he or she has too much work to do. He or she never gets out of this task-orientation and constantly feels overworked and overburdened
Dependent (Adaptive Child)
The need for safety may be reflected in overdependence on others.
A dependent manager may go blindly by what subordinates tell him or her to do or may seek approval for all actions from the boss. A trainer with this style follows the norms strictly and, in case change is needed, asks the head of the institution or group for approval. A dependent consultant is guided primarily by the client's wishes and understanding
Intropunitive (Reactive Child)
A person with this style takes out aggression on himself or hersef. Such a person is angry with himsef or herself for not doing certain things and blames his or her own lack of ability, skills, or courage for ineffectiveness. Intropunitive people suffer from self-pity
Satirical (Creative Child)
This style takes a more pungent form. The person shows his critical attitude, but escapes confrontation by using satire.
A person may show behaviours relating to several of the styles described above. However, he or she would use one style more frequently than others. We may thus get a style profi1e of a person in an interactional or transactional role. We call this the person's transactional style profile
SUMMARY
Transactional analysis is a comprehensive framework to understand and modify personality, styles, and behaviour. Its concepts of ego states and of transactions between persons and life positions are useful for analysing interpersonal styles. The concept of games and scripts is useful in understanding the dynamics of dysfunctional exchanges and lifestyles of individuals. Combining the three ego-states with OK arid not-OK positions, we get 12 functional and 12 dysfunctional interpersonal or transactional styles. By using specially designed instruments you can measure your style(s).
courtesy:- understanding organizational behaviour by Uday Parikh, and other authors.
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